-Saturday, March 28, 2009-10:35 PM Y
Youth Alpha was good today. It intrigued so many questions that i think that im really unworthy sometimes. And i just, that makes me try harder to build a relationship with God. But honestly, that's what happened during camp, and it didnt last!): Im going to make it happen this time!(: Try my hardest and hopefully, persevere on!:D
And really, i've realised that i just accept things cos people tell me it's like that. And never once do i ever question, cos i just im scared im like questioning the truth kinda thing yknow. But then i realise today that it's actually better to question and to really answer these questions for yourself cos then you'll have a deeper relationship with God. And it really matters a lot to Him.
To some extent, i feel like my passion is dying really. Like compared to post camp, my passion isnt really as big as it was. But then, hopefully, i can relight it again. And have a burning passion for God. Cos truly, He is mighty to save above all!(:
Then also, i think i'll most probably go for TGIGF. And enrolment before that!(: Cos i know it's really gonna be awesomeee. Like the worship and sermon. It's gonna be like the sermons during camp. And that's really amazing!(:
Anyway, kelly is the awesomest chem teacher ever. She makes things SO simple that i understand almost everything as compared to yknow who. I think i understand everything that is. HAHAH. But there's this question which i really dont get!:/ So im gonna ask her tomorrow!(: And mole concept isnt as hard as i thought it was honestly.
Anyway, during youth alpha, kelly and charmaine asked a really important question. And it's actually very simple, but yet really personal in a way. "Why are you a Christian?" Really, this questio is really simple, but yet it questions so much. It really does. And honestly, i, myself, am still quite unsure of how to answer this question sometimes. I feel so weak sometimes. But then God said that when i am weak that His strength is made perfect in me.
God has really done so much for me in 2008. Testing of faith, and really, the first time it really happened, i just felt so unprepared and scared. I had so little faith and really, i think it hurt Him to see. But it was through that incident, that things are the way they are now. And He really has a plan for us. I would love to say it, but not here. It's too personal.
Hmm, and i admire charmaine really. I think i admire first generation Christians cos they really know NOTHING about Christ but yet once they know Him, their faith tends to be stronger cos they made a choice right? And charmaine is indeed someone i admire because of her faith. Her parents arent Christians but yet she faithfully comes to church every week. She has such a close and intimate relationship with God that it really makes you admire her cos she's a first generation Christian.
Honestly, my life anything but perfect, and the only secret i have is, God.
And i need to start being grateful for whatever i have.
Today was honestly a day with loads of reflection. Especially after youth alpha. I just kept quiet throughout the whole entire journey to my grandma's house, just thinking about all the questions and stuff. And really, sometimes, you have to find out the answers to your doubts and questions yourself, then it'll make the relationship you share with God more real.
Anyway, we had dinner. And celebrated my dad cum mine birthday today. Cookies and cream sweensen's cake especially bought for me. HAHA. And happy birthday dad!(: Ily. Thanks for everything really. Even though you can be a pain sometimes, but you're more of a blessing usually!(: Love you!:D
I need to finish ALL my homework by today. Study hist till im really good at it, or maybe at the airport tomorrow with steph. And then i'll only allow myself to go for first batallion's celebration party!(: HAHA. How honoured, im invited!:D
And then monday, im going for css, so i'll most probably study hist there. And yepp!(: Hist lesson and test on tues. Wednesday is AFD. And Thurs is my birthday. I've decided what i should wish for this year. And next sat, it's tuition as usual then youth alpha!:D Yay.
Thank you for the cross Lord.